tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142784982024-03-06T20:40:03.444-08:00Always LearningAndy's thoughts and other musingsAndy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-71012829040130716672009-05-26T19:42:00.000-07:002009-05-26T20:07:12.546-07:00Change for the sake of itI have been thinking about change. I hate change. I hate to experience it. Yet, I feel it is the thing I most need at times. It is easy to get stuck in a rut. It is easy to let life happen without any ever realizing life has gone by. So change is good. It is needed. It is what brings about freshness and renewal. <br /><br />Change, however, for the sake of change is irresponsible. It is ill conceived. It is immature. It is akin to a child screaming in the store for the object of their desire without any idea of how they will pay for it. <br /><br />I have been thinking about change in church. I am all for change that will bring people into a real relationship with Christ and into relationship with his people. I, however, have no interest in change that is purely for self interest. I hope I can be selfless in my walk with Christ. <br /><br />The book of Amos says to "Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the LORD God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is. Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts. Perhaps the LORD God Almighty will have mercy on the remnant of Joseph. " God asks us to change. He asks us to change our hearts. He asks us to be good to others. I want to live a life of justice seeking change as necessary for the incarnation of the kingdom.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-88282044207727168572009-05-23T16:28:00.000-07:002009-05-23T16:40:53.305-07:00Home, Sweet, HomeThe other day, Corban learned he is going back to Paducah. He was so excited. Everyday he would ask, "Are we going to Paducah today?" As the day approached I learned the reason for his excitement. He exclaimed, "I am so excited to go home." <br /><br />This statement amazed me. He is only three years old, but he knew where he belonged. He belonged at home. <br /><br />Sometimes I feel this way too. I want to go home. I wait and wait with the anticipation of being comfortable again. Ultimately, home is where you choose to be. I am making my home in Ada, but like Corban have moments of longing to be where I am comfortable.<br /><br />I thank God that he gives us his peace. I can feel at home even when I am not at home. I thank God for the family he has given me.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1139582301374096002006-02-10T06:17:00.000-08:002006-02-10T06:38:21.386-08:00Barbarian CoutureIn my men's study on Tuesday nights, we have been reading a book on what it means to have real powerful faith. The book is called The Barbarian Way. This is the premise of this book: We as Christians have gotten soft. We like our comforts and believe it is our right to have them. When we meet someone who calls us out of comfort, we run them off. <br /><br />I have been thinking about this in my own life. For a long time, I have been happy to stay in my own comfortable world. I like the ways things are going and I don't want to change. I don't want to be challenged to give up what is most important to me. <br /><br />The author suggests that "Christianity" has become nothing more than another stale world religion. This statement blew me out of my shoes. It is a quid pro quo. I hear myself saying, "Hey, Jesus! You scratch my back and I will scratch yours." As a group, we Christians have looked at wealth and prosperity as a G0d given thing. Even our view of heaven points to this. We see heaven as a prize. What? I have heard and was baptized for this same reason. "I want to go to Heaven not Hell!" (I am sure many people move past this thought, but how many people don't grow up?) I want to see Heaven as the ends to the means. I won't to be in Heaven because that is where God is. Our faith is not about what we can get out of it.<br /><br />Ask John the Baptist or the rich young ruler. They were called out of their comforts. You might say that John the Baptist never had known comfort, but he did give his head in the service of God. I define being a barbarian as willing to give all you have for a cause. In the society in which I live, this thought is reckless. When I look to John the Baptist or Jesus, they did not appeal to the social norms. They were about change. They were about sacrifice. They were willing to give their last penny to the cause. <br /><br />I know that some will be uncomfortable with these thoughts. That is okay. I wonder though, "Am I a barbarian or a ballerina?"Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1138220400999785092006-01-25T11:49:00.000-08:002006-01-25T12:20:01.023-08:00I believe it but I can't see itAli has got to be confused. She knows what babies look like. She loves to hold her baby doll. She get so excited when she sees babies at church. She even makes a sign with her arms that signifies she is rocking a baby. She knows babies. She may be more of an expert than I am. So it seems that she has to be confused about Randi's pregnancy. <br /><br />Randi and I have been trying to prepare her for the upcoming birth. We point to mommy's tummy and tell her the baby is in there. She, however, has gotten it into her head that we are talking about belly buttons. It was not until she pointed to her own belly button and signaled baby that we realized what she was thinking. <br /><br />Even more funny, she now wants to see Daddy's baby. Yes, Daddy looks like he has a baby, but he doesn't have a baby. She, however, does not have the ability to understand this distinction. What is the difference to her? It is simple to her. She evaluates what people tell her and makes determinations from it. <br /><br />Ali thought, "I understand babies." Then, she was thrown a curve. I guess she is able to move and change. While her understanding is technically wrong, she is trying to comprehend new ideas. She is trying to incorporate them into her life. It would be great if I could learn to flex and change as she does. <br /><br />I pray that God will continue to mold me to hear his voice and do his will even when it does not make sense to my mind.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1137020486176431072006-01-11T14:37:00.000-08:002006-01-11T15:02:36.090-08:00Learning New Things<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/1600/peek%20a%20boo.jpg"></a><br />It is interesting to watch someone learn how to do something new. I see this everyday at work. I am also seeing it at home. Ali is learning all kinds of new things. Currently, she is learning to potty.<br /><br />Teaching somebody to do something new can be challenging. Randi has resorted to bribing Ali with HOT TAMALES! No, not the food but the candy. Alethia loves these little things. For a pee or a poop in the potty, she is rewarded.<br /><br />Actually, I have been amazed at her progress. I have been laughing at myself because I realized that I was again thinking of Ali as a dog. When I was trying to train my dog, Abbey, she was constantly making a mess I had to clean up. When Randi started letting Ali run around bare bottomed or in panties, I had visions of Abbey sized floods. This has not been the case. Ali has learned so quickly.<br /><br />I wonder about this principle. Why do I not learn as fast as a toddler? Why do I struggle to grasp new concepts? I love to watch her... she just studies something as if she is trying to unlock its miracle.<br /><br />Maybe this is the key. She still possess the wonder of the world. She is desparately trying to figure things out. As for me, this world is old hat. I have been there and done that! Yeah right.<br /><br />I see people that are stuck everyday. They hate their lives. They are depressed. They are angry. When we come to a place of change, they are resistant. This will never cease to amaze me. They want to change and yet they will not. There are no options. They are not willing to learn a new way.<br /><br />I want to have that same kind of wonder that Ali has. I want to learn with gusto. I want to grab life and live it to all of its potential. I cannot do this if I am not willing to try something different.<br /><br />May the Lord bless me with opportunities to learn new things.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1133296839819783412005-11-29T12:31:00.000-08:002005-11-29T12:44:19.966-08:00Language of StupidityMy friends Mike and Glen remind me that my words are very important. I can say things in a moment that I would never mean in a lifetime. Mike oftens speaks of the "language of blessing." I think that I am cursed by the "language of stupidity."<br /><br />Recently, I hurt a friend's feelings. I did not mean to do it. I just made a callous remark that was meant to be funny. I thought of it as teasing. You know, teasing can really hurt! It is not that I meant to be ugly(as we say in the South). However, my actions were ugly.<br /><br />When I was a kid, I did not understand this. I know I still struggle with it. If I did not mean it, it did not count. When I own up to my mistake, this statement does not fly. When you say something, you have to take responsibility for it.<br /><br />I have to observe my approach with others. If I speak to Ali in a harsh voice, she will cry. I could be saying, "I love you, honey." I, however, have sent her a double message; I love you but I don't. Man, I sure struggle with this. I send double messages too often.<br /><br />I am learning from this mistake. I am learning that I must salt my words, because I may be eating them later. For those of you I have wronged with insensitive comments, "I am sorry."<br /><br />May God help me to listen to my words and practice a language that blesses and does not curse.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1129668382242095512005-10-19T17:38:00.000-07:002005-10-24T11:35:00.953-07:00Like My Daddy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/1600/Dirty%20Camper1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/320/Dirty%20Camper1.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I have never spent much time with little children. In fact, most of my life I have run from them. I did not like to hear them scream. I did not appreciate the way the crawl all over the place. I really did not like the way that they tore up your personal items. It is weird how that can change. I guess that it has not changed for everybody, but I can see the beauty of a little one.<br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br />I have watched myself grow from seeing Ali as a "little parasite" trying to steal my freedom to "my little girl" teaching me about freedom. I don't really even remember what it was like not to be daddy. I can see why people think a child will "fix" your problems. They can make you feel so good about yourself.<br /><br />The other day, as I was leaving for work, Randi and Ali were playing the backyard. When I rode off on my bike, Ali ran behind me blowing kisses. Randi stated that Ali made it all the way down the Alley way to the road. When Randi told Ali to come home, she threw a fit. She wanted to be with her daddy. It is so cool that someone wants to be with me that much!<br /><br />When I think about the responsibility of being a daddy, it could be frightening. I want to see it as an opportunity. What a little sponge! If I do it, she is going to do. If I say it, I hear her trying to say it. Just a few months ago, she could not even roll over. Now she is repeating the actions of her mommy and daddy.<br /><br />I think what bring joy to my heart is to hear her saying, "haaa-way-eww-yeh," over and over. What a testimony! Conversely, when I got mad at the dog and popped her on the head, "what did Ali do?" Yep, she tried to punish Abbey as well.<br /><br />So do I act like my daddy? Yes, I do remind many people of Michael Williams, but do I act like my heavenly father? When Jesus was in the temple, he stated, "I must be about my father's business." Am I busy about my father's business?<br /><br />Last night, my neighbor knocked on the door. He was drunk. This is not that unusual. What is unusual is that he asked me to go to Hardees for him. I agreed thinking that he would give me some money to buy him the sandwich he wanted. He did not offer me money. He offered me a coupon. (<b>I am laughing at this now. Maybe I should try this strategy</b>.) I came back inside to tell Randi. She and I both know that money is tight. I, however, also knew that I had just prayed that God would send me a non-Christian to serve. So, I went to Hardees. When I delivered the food, there was no mention of reimbursement. I did not ask. He did say, "Hey, what no fries?" I think I could have choked him. (Man! That is so funny! I asked God to use me then I complained.)<br /><br />So am I like Ali? Am I longing to be like my daddy? I want to be like Ali. I want to run down the alley way because I long to be with my daddy. I want to be like him. I want to be what the world hungers for. God gave his very best. Can I do any less? I want to look for opportunities to serve, because that is what God has done through the savior.</p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1129154658128009662005-10-12T14:42:00.000-07:002005-10-19T14:34:17.913-07:00The Heart of Worship<p class="MsoNormal">What does is mean to have a passion for something? Sometimes I find myself saying that I have a passion for <st1:place><st1:placename>Mississippi</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype>State</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> sports...sometimes. I might say that I have a passion for food. The point is that everybody would say that they have a passion. All people have different passions, but we all seem to define the word as "a consuming interest."<br /><br />I wonder if this is really how the word should be defined. I found myself really looking at this word in terms of its origin and how it is used. Passion is derived form the Greek word that means "to suffer." When we watch the movie, The Passion, we are really watching "the suffering." I guess if you go back to the actual meaning of passion, it means to feel so strongly about something that you would suffer for it.<br /><br />When I think about the statement, "I have a strong passion for worship," I wonder what I am really saying. I know what I have meant. I have meant to say, “I enjoy bright, vibrant singing." Is this the same as having a passion for worship? The word worship is derived from worth-ship. I like something. I give it high value. The phrase "worshipping God" implies that you give God high value.<br /><br />To say that I have a passion for worship is to say, "I really value worshipping and would die for my style." To say that I have a passion for worshipping God is to say, "I really value God and would give my life for him." I think that I have been struggling with this thought because f I have been in the business of passionately valuing worship, not God.<br /><br />Recently, I heard someone point to Revelation 3 as a statement about worship. Jesus condemns the church at <st1:city><st1:place>Laodicea</st1:place></st1:City> for being <b>lukewarm</b>. Actually as I understand it, he condemns them for being "<b>normal</b>." They are so normal, they disgust him. He says, "You make me want to throw up!" How powerful is this statement? Jesus wants to throw up because his followers are no different than the world around them. Wow! My life is really normal. Do I stand out from the world around me? I mean... Am I willing to suffer for Jesus? I am willing to take the place of a servant?<br /><br />Jesus seems to be calling the church to true worship. He is saying, "If you are truly passionate about worshipping me, give me your life." I am guilty of this sin. I have stated that I want to be true worshipper and yet where is the daily heart worship? Where is the strong desire for prayer and bible study? How many hungry people have I fed? I am not talking about works. I am talking about gratitude. "God you saved me, I want to grow closer to you."<br /><br />I am not putting myself down, I am finally being honest. It is lie to say that I am passionate about worshipping God, when I am really passionate about worshipping. Over and over I hear people say, "I love the new stuff" or “I love the old stuff." This "stuff" is not important. That is all just periphery. These are all just techniques. What matters most to God is the heart.<br /><br />If we as the church can start daily worshipping, we will not argue about technique. I have made a commitment to daily find ways of worshipping God. I don't want to be guilty of worshipping worship. I want to worship God.<o:p></o:p></p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1127157211657556412005-09-19T18:34:00.000-07:002005-09-19T12:13:31.666-07:00Spiritual Cotton Mouth<p class="MsoNormal">You ever feel dry? You ever feel empty? You ever feel like the ground in the middle of July when it has not rained in a long time? I have not written for several weeks because I feel parched. <br /><br />My dad used to call it cotton mouth. He would say something like, "I sure am cotton mouth right now." I suppose that spiritually I feel cotton mouth. The strange part about this feeling is that it has been growing in me for several weeks. I have known it was coming. I have known that I was thirsting and yet I did not go to the well. I did not ask for the water that will never run dry. I continued to try to fill my own need.<br /><br />I awoke last Saturday morning and was not able to sleep. I have wanted to write again, yet as I stated before, "There was emptiness." I started writing as is my practice and it led me to look at the scriptures. As I was looking, I stumbled over something that puzzled me. I have read this story many times, but I have never really listened to what it said.<br /><br />In Mark 6, Jesus is still doing the traveling preacher thing. He is going from town to town. He ends up back in his hometown. He is spotted by the leaders and people who know him. As they watch him, they question where his ability to perform miracles come from. They know that he is a common guy. They even know his family. This leads them to the conclusion that he should not be able to do the things he is doing. Most of you know that one of Jesus' more popularly quoted lines is here, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor (Mark 6:4) ." It is the following verses, however, that have me perplexed. Jesus stated that he could not do any miracles there. He could only lay hands on a few of the sick. It says that Jesus was amazed by their lack of faith. <br /><br />This is so interesting to me. I have been parched for weeks. I have not been striving to have a deep connected faith. I have not desired to have Christ working in my life. If I read this right, I have taken the power of Christ out of my life. Am I saying that Christ is powerless? NO! But I do believe that this means that I will be empty as long as I am doing nothing so show Christ I am faithful.<br /><br />Last night I taught a lesson to the teens. I realized that if I want to have a faith that is trained and hard, I have to train and be hard. I have to have spiritual discipline. This discipline will not come without the character and courage to admit my mistakes and rectify them. <br /><br />I don't want Jesus to shake his head in amazement at me and say, "Andy, how can you be so dry?" I mean come on, how many times have I heard Jesus offering me living water? I don't have to be dry. Jesus doesn't have to shake his head at me because of my disbelief. Here is the point; I have caused my Spiritual cotton mouth. I have not put my faith into practice. I have not used my spiritual discipline. <br /><br />If I expect myself to read and pray daily, I had better ask myself first, "Why should I do that?" If I can't come back with, "Because he loves me", what is the point? I tell the teens this constantly. Our faith is not in ourselves. It is not what we do for ourselves. It is the belief that what God has done for me has made me right. I desire to believe in Jesus because he desires for me to believe in him. <b> Isn't it a powerful concept that the measure of our belief in him, limits his power in us. </b><br /><br />I will try to pray and read this week with the theme of believing in Jesus' power to feel my empty, thirsty soul. May God bless you this week.</p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1125527095169358522005-08-31T17:39:00.000-07:002005-08-31T15:24:55.176-07:00Unconditional Positive RegardLast Sunday, Randi and I left Ali with some friends. Actually, these friends are more than friends, they are extended family. We were gone all day. We went to a concert with the youth group. We were ready to come home, but more importantly we were ready to see our baby. <br /><br />We arrived at our friends' house to find Ms. Alethia sitting on the lap of the gentleman finishing her bowl of ice cream. (I hear that it is the best ice cream in the world. I cost $23.oo to make.) As I was looking around for my own bowl (I am moved by my stomach), my daughter spotted me. She said, "hi." I must have not heard her. She responded again, "Hi." Still I was transfixed on ice cream. Randi states that Ali finally yelled, "HI!" <br /><br />I looked up to see an excited little girl who wanted to be with her daddy. I guess I had not thought about how important my acknowledgement of her was. When I look at it now, it makes sense. When I come home in the afternoon, she is ready to be held. She does not want to be held by anybody but me. She needs me to give her attention. She needs to know that I am in her corner. She needs me. <br /><br />I guess this thought is frightening in some ways. I am in charge of how my daughter is going to feel about herself. It is my responsibility to pass on to her the ability to find a gentle and loving husband. I am not saying that it will be my choice, but it is my duty to show her what a good husband and daddy looks like. This is done by example.<br /><br />I have been contemplating this because I am facing something in my work that has me struggling. The term <span style="font-weight: bold;">unconditional positive regard</span> is a foundational theory in counseling and therapy. I have been struggling to accept it and use it fully. The premise is this; if a person is not cared for, they will never be able to care for themselves. It is a therapist's job to show a person that he or she will hold them with respect and care unconditionally. <br /><br />When I am honest, this is hard to do. It is a lot easier for me to listen for about five minutes and pontificate on my theories and experience. Often I find myself pontificating rather than listening. <br /><br />As an experiment, I have taken to seeing how long I can conduct an interview without talking. I want to show people that I am open to listening. There are always exceptions, but often I find that people are willing to open up and give me the information I want, if I am willing to listen. I have even found and remember from school that it is not me that is fixing, it is God and the individual. I am more of a portal that people use to find answers. <br /><br />When I look at Ali, I realize that I am not solving or fixing her problems. I am giving her the basic elements of health. I am giving her unconditional positive regard. I am telling her that I love her. It is interesting that many therapists' main tool in play therapy is this theory. <span style="font-weight: bold;">"If I show you that I care for you, you will care for yourself."</span><br /><br />I challenge anyone who reads my blog to take the unconditional positive regard challenge. Speak less; Listen more. I want you to see if you can help somebody heal by showing interest in them. It is my goal to love like Jesus. He really loved the undesirables. He showed real unconditional positive regard.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1125074652686458012005-08-26T09:39:00.000-07:002005-08-26T11:04:20.076-07:00Into the Toddler Years<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">The other day, I was home for lunch.<span style=""> </span>As is my lunch habit, I snack on something, visit with Randi, and play with Ali.<span style=""> </span>As I was idly sitting by watching my ladies, I saw something interesting happen before my eyes.<span style=""> </span>My daughter went from being a little baby as I often call her to a full-blown toddler.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I have said in the past and reaffirm now that since the day Alethia was born, she has had a temper.<span style=""> </span>She has always known what she wanted and more importantly, she has always known what she did not want.<span style=""> </span>Interestingly on this day, Ms. Alethia decided that she wanted Randi to do something for her.<span style=""> </span>When Randi informed her that she was not going to do this thing “X,” Ali’s temper began to flare.<span style=""> </span>She grabbed Randi’s hand and tried to bite her.<span style=""> </span>Randi in return chose the punishment of slapping her hand and telling her “NO!”<span style=""> </span>This seemed only to incense her.<span style=""> </span>She tried to bite again.<span style=""> </span>Again Randi repeated the action and got the same response.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">At this point, I thought that it might be helpful for Daddy to help out.<span style=""> </span>I will reserve judgment on my parenting skills for a later date.<span style=""> </span>I, however, did achieve the desired result.<span style=""> </span>I jumped up, popped her on the diaper, and firmly stated “NO!”<span style=""> </span>She began to cry.<span style=""> </span>While Daddy had done nothing more than let her know that he was serious, it seemed to hurt her feelings.<span style=""> </span>Later I discussed this incident with Randi.<span style=""> </span>We both came to the realization that we are going to have to let Ali know that we are serious.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So why is so hard to do this?<span style=""> </span>I don’t just mean Ali.<span style=""> </span>I mean, why is it so hard to really let people know what you are thinking?<span style=""> </span>Could it be for the same reason that we don’t want to pop our children on their bottoms?<span style=""> </span>Could it be that we are afraid that we will hurt somebody?<span style=""> </span>Could it be that we are afraid of the consequences?<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I have spent the last two years trying to understand the nature of these questions.<span style=""> </span>I think that I am coming to a simple and yet complex answer, “I am afraid that I will lose my intimacy with you.”<span style=""> </span>I have spent many sessions contemplating the subject of intimacy.<span style=""> </span>Most people have the same thought; intimacy is knowing that the person that you have a relationship with approves of you.<span style=""> </span>Is this really intimacy?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">One day I was trying to explain the nature of a truly intimate relationship to a lady and it hit me that the relationship we have with God is the portrait of a real intimate relationship.<span style=""> </span><b>I asked, “Have you ever been frustrated or angry at God?”<span style=""> </span>She replied that she had been angry.<span style=""> </span>I asked, “Where did God go while you were in his throne room shouting at him?”<span style=""> </span>She was slightly perplexed.<span style=""> </span>She finally replied, “He doesn’t go anywhere.”<span style=""> </span>She stopped and thought for a minute and then revelation washed over her face.<span style=""> </span>Intimacy is the ability to be honest with yourself and say what you need to say without having to worry that the person you are in the relationship with will run away.<o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So many marriages and friendships fall apart because people have never truly been able to be themselves. They have never had a truly honest moment in their relationship.<span style=""> </span>At the point of breakdown, they say the angry things that have festered.<span style=""> </span><b>This is not honesty but selfishness.</b><span style=""> </span>In order to be honest people might find themselves asking, “What have I done to hurt this relationship?”<span style=""> </span>People, however, see honesty as saying about an affair, “I can talk to them” or “They really know me like nobody else” or the best line yet, “They are my soul mate.”<span style=""> </span>How many of those relationships last?<span style=""> </span>Probably very few last.<span style=""> </span>They are founded on a faux intimacy.<span style=""> </span>They are still not being honest to themselves or the other.<span style=""> </span>They have never been able to open up and let other person see their flaws.<span style=""> </span>This is an exercise in image control.<span style=""> </span>They believe that if I make the other person unhappy, it will destroy our intimacy.<span style=""> </span>If you cannot say what is true, I suggest that there was never a real intimacy there.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So back to the original question, “Why is it hard to be honest with ourselves and with others without fearing the consequences?”<span style=""> </span>We fear that we will be rejected.<span style=""> </span>We fear that our intimacy will be gone.<span style=""> </span>Specifically, we fear that our mates, children, bosses, coworkers, and friends will shun us.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">As I have written, I have been dealing with this issue for the last two years.<span style=""> </span>I have come to the conclusion that I have to own my problems and let others own theirs.<span style=""> </span>That is my big answer.<span style=""> </span>This is my solution.<span style=""> </span>I know that it sounds harsh and simplistic, but it works.<span style=""> </span>I do what I think and know to be right.<span style=""> </span>I will make mistakes, but I try to be honest with myself and with others.<span style=""> </span>I let them decide how they will handle my words.<span style=""> </span>I cannot do it for them.<span style=""> </span>It would be wrong to try.<span style=""> </span>Do I care about what people think?<span style=""> </span>Yes, to a point.<span style=""> </span>I care that they may be hurt, but it does not change that I must be honest with the other and myself. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Intimacy is born out of endurance and struggle not out of compatibility and satisfaction.<span style=""> </span>When I watch Ali grow into the toddler years, it is painful and joyful to watch.<span style=""> </span>She is almost like a weeble except that she wobbles and falls down at times.<span style=""> </span>She throws temper tantrums.<span style=""> </span>She is grouchy and yet her mom and I love her.<span style=""> </span>We don’t quit her because she is difficult at times.<span style=""> </span>We don’t want to teach her faux intimacy.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Many of us have practiced this faux intimacy with our partners, but worse we have practiced it with our God.<span style=""> </span>We have not been real with God.<span style=""> </span>We fear showing him our flaws.<span style=""> </span>We feel that we must get religion just right or he will walk away from us.<span style=""> </span>Does this mean God always likes us?<span style=""> </span>I don’t think so!<span style=""> </span>I think it means that God is willing to love us even when we say and do things that aggravate him.<span style=""> </span>In the book of Hosea, I see a portrait of a God is trying to woo an unfaithful wife back to him all the while knowing that she will not return to him.<span style=""> </span>His is a truly intimate relationship.<span style=""> </span>He is willing to allow us to say what we need to say.<span style=""> </span>We will never find God courting another.<span style=""> </span>He is faithful. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b>I have been growing into the toddler years for a long time</b></span><span style="font-size:12;"><span style="font-size:85%;">.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">God is revealing to me that I must be willing to be real.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Being real is not always what I think it is.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Being real is not selfish.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Being real often means that I must be willing to pay the price.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I must be willing to suffer for the truth.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">A person can never have a truly have an intimate relationship until they are willing to lay their real selves out on the line and accept the consequences.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">If you need an example, see God’s love for his people all the way through the Bible.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I pray that God will help me to bold in my relationship with others and with him.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I hope that others will have the courage to pray this prayer.</span><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1124717836554890222005-08-22T18:29:00.000-07:002005-08-23T06:16:26.423-07:00First Blood<p class="MsoNormal">Last week was a scary time for my family. I talked to my mother on Saturday afternoon and asked her if she had read the message about he impending grandchild. Of course she had, but I got very little response. (<i>Randi told me that I should have called. I guess next time I will call. So this is also an apology for my insensitivity</i>.) Actually, my mom did not talk long and sounded as if she were not feeling good. When I got off the phone, Randi asked, "Are you done already?" I answered that mom did not seem to want to talk. It was if she did not feel good.<br /><br />I know now that she did not. By Tuesday, I got a call from my sister stating that my mother was in the hospital. She had a ruptured appendix. I am not a medical type. <b>(When asked biology questions, I make stuff up. Randi routinely looks at me like I am crazy, but I just did not like biology.<span style=""> </span>If you had Ms. Lusk for a biology teacher, you might feel that same way.)</b> Anyway, I did not know how serious this thing was. It was not until yesterday that I realized that my mom was in some real peril. When I talked to her she stated, "The doctor told her that he thought that he was going to lose her." My mom laughs at this now, because it has seemed to spur my dad to do some things that she has wanted done for a long time. I guess when you almost lose somebody it really makes you want to show them how much you appreciate them.<br /><br />In a vaguely parallel incident, Ali had her first bloody accident over the weekend. A little boy was trying to give her a hug and knocked her down in the process. She lay on the floor and cried for a second. Ali tends to be a little dramatic and I thought, "She is just putting on." When I finally picked her up, she had blood streaming out of her mouth.<br /><br />I was shocked. She was screaming and wiping blood around her face.<span style=""> </span>It was smeared everywhere.<span style=""> </span>My baby was a bloody mess. I did not know what to think. What do you do in a situation like this? It was not serious. It was just a bloody lip. I, however, felt panic. My baby has been hurt. After settling her down with a Popsicle, I realized that everything was going to be okay.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>It is weird that a person does not often realize the value of life until someone special is lost or damaged.<span style=""> </span>With Ali the danger was evident, but with my mom I did not realize the danger.<span style=""> </span>Remember, I am ignorant in medical matters.<b><span style=""> </span></b>(<b>I remember an episode on Night Court, when Dan Fielding did an emergency surgery to cut out Harry’s appendix with a pocketknife.<span style=""> </span>How dangerous can that be?</b>)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>As I spoke to my mom, she reminded me that good has come out of this episode.<span style=""> </span>Out of her pain, she has received a blessing from my father.<span style=""> </span>He was at her side on a near constant basis.<span style=""> </span>She, I hope you don’t mind mom, has struggled for years with her feelings of importance in my dad’s life.<span style=""> </span>She learned from this episode that he would always be there for her.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Why does it take blood and death to remind us of what is important?<span style=""> </span>When I spill blood, it means pain for me.<span style=""> </span>If I spill too much, it means death.<span style=""> </span>I have struggled for years to understand why God decided to use blood and death as his means of conveying salvation.<span style=""> </span>I think that I understand it more.<span style=""> </span>As humans, one of the things we fear is pain.<span style=""> </span>Some even fear death.<span style=""> </span>God wanted to make a point.<span style=""> </span><b><i>Sin is that bad</i></b>.<span style=""> </span>It deserves to die.<span style=""> </span>It deserves to feel pain.<span style=""> </span>If we feel this much pain at the loss of someone who is human, how much more of a sacrifice was is it that God chose this path for Jesus?<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>When I saw Ali with blood streaming out of her face or think about the near loss of my mother, I realize that God gave up his Son to both of these experiences.<span style=""> </span>He had to experience pain.<span style=""> </span>He had to suffer death.<span style=""> </span>If my mom had not faced death, my father might have not had the opportunity to show her that she was important.<span style=""> </span>If Jesus had not faced pain and death, I would not have the opportunity to show him how thankful I am.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>I realized that I don’t serve God because I am obligated to serve him.<span style=""> </span>I serve God because I realize how close he came to death for me. (Read as, he came really close.<span style=""> </span>He died for me.)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>I hope that I can learn from this experience.<span style=""> </span>I hope that I can remember to be a <i>faithful</i> servant because I would miss him if he were not in my life.<span style=""> </span>I will pray, <b><i>“God help me to love you because I would miss you so much if you were not a part of my life.”</i></b><span style="color:navy;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1123864520724915782005-08-12T07:33:00.000-07:002005-08-16T14:25:05.163-07:00God is the Best Fisherman!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/1600/Fisher%20of%20Men1.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/200/Fisher%20of%20Men.jpeg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Ever wonder why things work out the way they do? Just this morning I was thinking to myself, "Ali's dirty diaper needs to be changed. I think<br /><br />I'll change it." As I started with this process Randi said, "I'll do it, you don't have time. You'll be late for work." I, however, disagreed and changed Ali's diaper. I guess I just wanted to do it.<br /><p class="MsoNormal">On my way to work, I realized that I really like being a daddy. I liked changing my baby's diaper. Don't get me wrong, I try to act like I can't smell the really bad ones sometimes. Maybe if I wait it out, Randi will change her. So don't canonize me yet.<br /><br />I think it hit me that it is a joy to watch someone who is part of you, grow up. Ali is so funny. She is vibrant. She is grouchy. She is loud. Yet, she is me and I am her. We are of the same flesh. No matter what happens, she will always belong to me. She will always be my daughter.<br /><br />So I come back to the question, ever wonder why things work out the way they do? Here I was...My wife 3 months pregnant with Ali and I could not even bear to look at her. I was so afraid. I did not want to be a dad. I did not want Randi to be pregnant. No matter how hard I pretended, Ali was not going to go away. Eventually my heart was softened. It was 3 days before Ali was born, but God softened my heart.<br /><br />It seems to me that God has been fishing with me. I am the fish. He is standing by with a cane pole and a cork saying, "Come on bite it, bite it," and yank he has me hooked. I will probably laugh at myself for the next year as I realize that as soon as I said, "Okay God, I am good with this," he gives me something else.<br /><br />So for the question again, "Why do things work out the way that they do?" I came home from lunch today to find a drawing on the fridge. My one year old daughter, with the help of mommy, had drawn a picture of the family. She had even managed to label the pictures of eveybody. Guess who was in Mommy's arms? It was not Ali. It was baby duplex. (Not a name I like, but one that Randi's family likes. So I grin and bear it.) I don't think that you can imagine my surprise or shock. Yeah, yeah... I know where babies come from. I just did not expect for it happen again. (Insert laughter here.)<br /><br />Once more I ask, "Why do things work out the way they do?" I don't have an answer but I really have learned to appreciate God's timing. Yes, I believe that he has helped me. He has softened my heart when it needed to be softened. He has given me peace when there was none to be had. He has given me courage in the face of adversity. I guess things work out the way they do because everything has a time and place.<br /><br />I will continue to pray, "God give me what I need as I need it. Nothing more, nothing less."</p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1123712385330162302005-08-10T18:51:00.000-07:002005-08-10T15:19:45.336-07:00Happiness is a Disease<div style="text-align: left;"> <p class="MsoNormal">How many times have I heard, "I just want to be happy?" If you listen real closely you can hear the world saying, "Just do whatever makes you happy!" I can't stomach this any longer. It makes me sick to hear it.<br /><br />It's not that I don't want to be happy or that I don't want others to be happy, but life is not about being happy. Our world, but especially our culture, is sick with the idea that we must be happy at all times. Really, I hear everyday, "Well .... I just wasn't happy in my marriage." Or "He just didn't give me what I need." I am not naive. I understand that some situations will warrant the dissolution of a marriage, but this disease affects us in all areas of our life. <br /><br />Think about where we eat. McDonalds! What do they call their children's meal? Yes, it is a happy meal. I hear people say, "When I get sad, I just go shopping." Why go shopping?<span style=""> </span>So that I can be happy again. <br /><br />Personally, my struggle with happiness has always centered on a television and a bag of chips. I find happiness in my belly. It is really starting to show! The problem is that this is not happiness. Now I find that I am unhappy about the way I look. It is kind of funny. All the things I do for happiness just bring me more unhappiness.<br /><br />So is being happy wrong? It certainly is not!<span style=""> </span>It is just that I am tired of myself and others worshipping the <b>STATE OF </b><st1:state><st1:place><b>HAPPINESS</b></st1:place></st1:State>. Happiness is elusive. You will never find 100% satisfaction in anything or anyone. When you are disappointed, happiness will have flitted away. <br />What I really desire is peace and contentment. I am not sure if I know how to explain this, but Paul the Apostle does a great job when he writes...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"> <b><sup id="en-NIV-29431"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "lucida grande";"><br />4</span></sup></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "lucida grande";">Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! <sup id="en-NIV-29432">5</sup>Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. <sup id="en-NIV-29433">6</sup>Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. <sup id="en-NIV-29434">7</sup>And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.<sup id="en-NIV-29435"> 8</sup>Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. <sup id="en-NIV-29436">9</sup>Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. <sup id="en-NIV-29437">10</sup>I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. <sup id="en-NIV-29438">11</sup>I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. <sup id="en-NIV-29439">12</sup>I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. <sup id="en-NIV-29440">13</sup>I can do everything through him who gives me strength.<br /></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "lucida grande";"><br /></span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Paul seems to be saying that happiness is not important in the face of adversity. What is important is being at peace with what you have. This passage ends with, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I believe that strength he gives is the ability to have peace and contentment when the world is all wrong around you. <br /><br />So, yeah I am sick of hearing... "Just do what makes you happy." It just does not work. Try to be satisfied with what you have. See how that suits you? You may find that your life is much simpler. <br /><br />I will continue to pray, "God give what I need for today. I want nothing more."</span><o:p></o:p></p> </div>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1123257816808125732005-08-05T06:35:00.000-07:002005-08-05T09:05:07.493-07:00Life proves that what Poppy says is true!Ali has started walking!!!! What a blessing. What a curse. No, just kidding. This little girl has gotten busy being all over the house. Randi and I will be with her one minute and she is gone the next. It might be the potty one minute and the trash the next. She really loves to go into her room and pull all of the clothes out of the drawers. She finds cords fascinating. She loves to the take the "old original Nintendo" cord and wrap it around her neck. Is that safe or what? She finds that mommy and daddy's belts are good toys and she love playing with ribbon. I don't know what it is with Ali, but she loves to wrap these things around her neck. Without getting too sidetracked, Ali has become a whirling dervish in our lives.<br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br />I think it is funny that I found myself saying, "I can't wait until Ali begins walking." What was I thinking? I had a captive audience. She thought I was as great as sliced bread and she could not get away from me. I did not have to worry that she would be wrapping cord around her neck or anything else that she could find. I guess I was just thinking that it would be better when she could do something more. I guess I was not living in the moment.<br /><br />It is strange that we spend our lives dreaming about the future without appreciating the present. When I was sixteen and wanted a car, my Poppy would tell that not everything is as good as it seems. He would repeatedly tell me about his experience as a young man. He stated that he longed for a car as well. When he finally got one, it never worked properly. He always told me to live in the moment. Just because you get what you want, it does not mean that you really wanted what you got. I did not understand that until I bought my first $300 car. It was broke as much as it worked.<br /><br />I still find myself missing the present. I am looking for the future. I find myself saying, "Things will be better when..." If I constantly look into the future the present will have become the past. I have been trying to pray this prayer lately. "God give me what I need, when I need it. Lord, I don't want more than I need, just what I need. Help me to appreciate what I have by what you have given me.<br /><br />My Poppy has often been right. If I take the time to stop and listen to him, I can hear him say, "What you think you want may not be as big a blessing as you thought it would be." I want to appreciate the moment. I want to enjoy watching my little girl grow. I want to be patient and take what God gives me as I need it. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1123100280391895072005-08-03T18:46:00.000-07:002005-08-03T13:19:26.813-07:00Modern Day Paul<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/1600/uae111.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3484/1287/200/uae11.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />It is interesting that the more my faith develops, the more I learn that I have it easy. I asked the high school class the other day if they really had it too easy. They did not understand what I meant. I had them read the testimony of Christians around the world who are being persecuted for their faith. One boy stated, "Maybe we should be persecuted too, then we would have faith like these people."<br /><br />While I don't wish to be persecuted I understand the thinking of a 15 year old. If I am faced with a choice to share Jesus or die, my faith becomes real to me. In a society where everything is "have it your way," it appears that it is easy to have a faith that is "have it your way."<br /><br />As of early 2005, the Reidland Church has decided to support a man named Phillip Ganta. Mr. Ganta is an Indian national working in the United Arab Emirates. He is an electronics technician who is also a self supporting missionary(<span style="font-weight: bold;">see tentmaker here</span>). Mr. Ganta has been using his wages in order to fund his missionary work in the UAE. He is a very gifted evangelist and selfless person, who only desires to serve the Lord by taking the gospel to the Muslim world. He fully expects to die in his work. I have committed to praying for Mr. Ganta and his work.<br /><br />Mr. Ganta's work not only includes preaching to the muslims, sikhs, and hindis but also preparing the men that are converted to be evangelist and teachers of the gospel. He currently has around 60 students. They are students of the Reidland School of Preaching. He could not name the school after the city in which he works, Dubai. It was not allowed. There are plans, however, to have the school legalized. This will take some amount of money.<br /><br />He has put himself at risk to take Jesus to the Muslim world. He does not ask for support, but it has been offered to him. This last Sunday $4208.00 was given to recoupe cost that he lost while traveling to Afghanistan to encourage some of his former students. He will stop at nothing to take the gospel to this region.<br /><br />If you are interested in helping Phillip, you can contact the <a href="http://www.reidland.org/">Reidland Church of Christ</a>. While Phillip does not expect the help, he could use your help. If you are interested in reading Phillip's letter to the church about his experience in Afghanistan, I will be glad to send you a copy.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1123018715313616112005-08-02T14:10:00.000-07:002005-08-02T14:38:35.320-07:00Tall TomatoesI am not a farmer. I have never been a farmer. I will probably never be a farmer. My dad, who is not a farmer either, grew up on a farm. He kind of values himself as an agricultural type. Since he is an entomologist, I believe that he can be lumped into this field. I, however, will likely never share the fate of being agricultural. <br /><br />There are attempts on my part. I have raised a plant that my sister gave me a few years ago. I have managed to keep the Aloe plant alive. I fed Rusty the cow ever morning one winter from a pail with a nipple on it. (<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ha! Rusty you got yours. We ate you</span>.) I raised show lambs with my family for more years than I can remember. But, alas, I will never be considered a country boy. I am soft in the ways of the farm. <br /><br />This makes Randi and my plight all that more interesting. Randi and I have planted a garden in our yard in Paducah. It is not a large garden. It really is rather small. The garden grows beside the fence line midway up the yard. It sits partly in the shade during the morning but has some afternoon sun. <br /><br />Randi has planted squash, zuichini, cucumber, and acorn squash. She also has 7 of the most beautiful tomato plants that you have ever seen. We actually have a tomato plant that is almost 5 feet high. It is gorgeous, only it has not produced any fruit all summer. It has become our family joke. If we were in the contest for the tallest tomato plants, we would win. <br /><br />Isn't it funny that a tomato plant can look so good and be so worthless. (Terrell, if I can borrow from you...) Jesus stated to his Apostles that the fruit he was looking for in their lives was prayer. He wanted to know that their faith was producing fruit all year round. He actually cursed the fig tree in order to make the point. A real Christian has fruit year round. (Mark 11:12-25)<br /><br />When I evaluated myself, I said,"Why does that man keep stepping on my toes." The real question is, "How can I be close to God, do great things for him, and appreciate him, if I don't know who he is?" If you are not talking to God, you may be a really tall tomato plant without any fruit. Think about it.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1122661945091604332005-07-29T18:02:00.000-07:002005-07-29T15:02:48.116-07:00Impossibly Flawed and Wonderfully Made!<span style="">I was talking with someone recently and they stated, "I really like what you write, but when are you going to write that you are successful?" I kind of laughed to myself and thought, "Well aren't these all my stories of success?" But I see the point, "Andy, when will you start to toot your own horn?"<br /><br />I spent a lifetime trying to receive other's attention. It was not until recently that I could claim that I had value independent of someone else's thoughts of me. When I write it is a chance for me to really evaluate myself, to learn, to gain insight, and to become that successful person. I have always been able to find my flaws. There is very little effort for me to notice my mistakes. In the past, however, my criticisms never had any positive thoughts behind it. It was rather condemning of me. I allowed myself no grace. I must make myself right. This was done by managing everyone's feelings toward me. I was the king of apologizing because I <b><i>might have</i></b> hurt someone's feelings. I could not value myself. It all came from others. So in a sense this critic was right about me when they said, "When are going to write that you are successful." I know that I am successful, but now I will share what I have learned in the last 3 years.<br /><br />Here is my answer. God has made me. While I am impossibly flawed, I am wonderfully made. I like being a father and husband, therefore I am reasonably good at it. <i>Life is never as scary lived as it is <span style=""> </span>perceived.</i> I like my job; it is where I try to excel. I<i>f you love it, you will be good at it.</i> I have found that being a child of God offers me more hope about my life than any pat on the back ever could. I<i> don't need someone to say, "I like what you are doing." Of course they do, I am living for God. </i> I have realized that I am not as nerdy or geeky as I ever thought I was. <i>I am cool because I believe myself to be.</i> I am free because I do not have to live under the guilt and burden that sin causes. <i>Jesus died for me.</i></span>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1122656156583342632005-07-29T12:17:00.000-07:002005-07-29T11:38:53.616-07:00I Wan' it!<p class="MsoNormal">Wow! I can't believe that Alethia has just turned one last week. It seems like a few weeks ago I was that Dad that so feared being able to raise a child. I was in such bad shape that I could not even bear to look at my wife in her first three months of pregnancy. I don't want you to think that I am proud of this, but more to realize the distance that I have come. Yes, my wife is amazing. She puts up with me.<br /><br />As I was stating earlier, Alethia has just turned one. She has gone from being the little baby that came home from the hospital that could only cry when she wanted something to insisting in a very slurred statement, "I wan' it!"<br /><br />When her Nana was visiting her the other day, she was really desirous of the ice in Nana's glass. She got frustrated because Nana was not giving it to her. With much angst and frustration in her voice she said, "I WAN' IT!" So what did Nana do? She gave her what she wanted. If that had been me, we might have had vision of Randi saying to me ... "Does she need everything she wants?"<br /><br />I guess I tend to agree with Randi because I had another interesting experience the other day that involved my often curious daughter. Ali likes to visit us in the bathroom. For anybody that has had a little one, you can remember that they like to follow you around the house. While I was in there, not generally paying attention, Ali found something to play with. As I looked around, I found her taking a ribbon that she had been playing with and dipping it in the toilet. About the time I noticed, she had dropped it and had started splashing the water trying to retrieve the ribbon.<br /><br />Of course, my first inclination was, "Oh, that's gross!" I, however, recovered and rescued Ali's ribbon and her from the potty. Only Ali did not want to be rescued from the potty. She resisted and although she did not say, "I wan' it," her body language spoke these words in volume.<br /><br />While Ali has no understanding that playing in the potty is really bad for her health, she does understand that it is fun. I don't know about you but I keep tripping up on this same principle in my life. I guess that is why I write about it so much. <b>I guess that the irony is that I know the potty is dirty! I know that it can make me sick, but I keep saying, "I wan' it." </b><br /><br />Don't you think that God looks at that those disgusting behaviors and says, "Oh, that's gross," but allows us to play in the potty anyway? Uhmm, I can't parent like God. Maybe the biggest difference is that God knows that we know it is not good. Ali does not. She can shout that she wants it, but will eventually learn that not everything we want is good for us.<br /><br />Randi and I have pledged to try to lead a life that questions the "I wan' it" attitude. We want our lives to reflect sacrifice and service to others. Just my opinion but if you find yourself saying, the word BUT there is probably an "I wan' it" or "I deserve it" following.<br /><br />If you want to have a close relationship with anybody, you have to listen. If you want to have a close relationship with God you have to listen. In order to listen, the "I wan' it" or "I deserve it" must go away. The big BUT must be lost. God desires a close relationship with me, but will probably not sidle up to me as long as I choose to play in the potty. When I stop saying "BUT, I wan' it," start listening, a relationship with God can begin. </p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1122404444696158642005-07-26T11:06:00.000-07:002005-07-26T15:24:17.453-07:00We Must Obey God!<p class="MsoNormal">This last Sunday was a really good exercise in the power of God. I have been operating as a Bible teacher and Teen Care Group leader for the last six months at the Reidland <st1:place><st1:placetype>church</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename>Christ</st1:placename></st1:place>. While I was apprehensive to take on this task, I have found that I enjoy the pedagogical aspects of this work. I have enjoyed having to stretch myself. I have enjoyed learning that I can do it.<br /><br />You see, most of my life I suffered from the belief that maybe I can't do it. Instead of thinking, "I can do it," or more to the point, "I can't do it," there was always a maybe or a doubt in my ability to perform. I heard from early childhood, "Andy is not living up to his potential." Or "He can do better." I knew that there was an expectation that I should perform. I just didn't.<br /><br />I actually remember a funny time when my father tried to force me to do better. Now my dad was not and is not an ogre, but I believe he just wanted me to succeed. My dad informed me during my third grade year that he was going to spank me at the end of the semester if I brought home on my report card any more C's. I laugh now thinking about my response. It is very typical Andy. I, generally, did nothing but dream of better grades. I, however, put in no actual effort. Naturally, at the end of the semester, I brought home my three C's. That was worth three licks a piece. Trying to outsmart my dad, I wore toilet paper in my pants for three days. When I thought I was in the clear, I took the padding out. Guess when the spanking occurred? Yep, not long after the padding was clear. (I am sure that my dad does not remember this story, but I still laugh at myself. <b>How could I really think that I would fool my dad?</b>) If I look back on my career at school, I am not sure that it would have mattered.<br /><br />Did my dad spank me because he thought it was fun, I sincerely doubt it. He was trying to motivate me. It is too bad that motivating is as difficult as getting a pig to move out of its puddle on a hot day. I am stubborn. More to the point, I was afraid to move. While I knew that the results of my actions (not doing anything) were detrimental to my health, I was more afraid of trying to succeed or fail as it may be.<br /><br />As I said earlier, I was afraid to take on some of the responsibilities at church because I did not want to fail. God, however, has been teaching me otherwise. On Sunday, I heard a lesson on the Apostles choosing to have a public ministry in spite of what the Jewish leaders demanded of them. They stated, "<b>We must obey God rather than men! (Acts </b><st1:time minute="29" hour="17"><b>5:29</b></st1:time><b>)</b>"<br /><br />At the Teen Care Group on Sunday night, I offered the teens a lesson that has cut my own heart. It goes along with Terrell's lesson and is at the heart of my own struggle. Ezekiel 37 is a text about a <st1:place><st1:placetype>Valley</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename>Dry Bones</st1:placename></st1:place>. In this story, the prophet is told by God to preach and prophesy to the bones. As he does, the bones reassemble. They become fleshed. They look like people, yet they are dead. It is not until Ezekiel prophesies for the wind to enter these bodies do they have breath. As this point, a vast army stands before Ezekiel. This Army was nothing but dead bodies until they had breath. After this point, they are powerful and full of life.<br /><br />Isn't that the point really? In my lifetime, I have been a dead useless body. Oh sure, I look good. I was nice. I was polite to the right people. Yet, I was still a dead body on the valley floor. Nothing more than a dried bone. It is funny because I wanted to be useful and powerful. I wanted to be successful in school. I wanted to be respected and loved, but I did not want to do what it took to become what I wanted to be. I took the easy way because it is easier to accept failure by not trying than to try and fail. I feared not becoming what I wanted to be.<br /><br />I look back at myself and realize that all along, I have wanted to be a mighty man of God. I have wanted a real relationship with him. I wanted to be counted as a soldier of the Cross. I just did not want to have to have to make the sacrifice. I liked looking good. But where did does this get me?<br /><br />As long as I (see you and me) stand on the side and say, "I may or may not be able to do it," I never will. It is not until this dead body has the creator's breathe in him that he will live. I have to be willing to say, "I must obey God!" I have to be willing to give God glory by being a failure for him. It is not until I can move past my fear of being embarrassed or ashamed that I can become anything but a dry bone.<br /><br /><b>Can you really fool your dad?</b> He knows what he has called you to do. May the Lord encourage you to become a fool for him. May you say, "I must obey God" and stop looking like you are alive and become alive. </p>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1121811738198621762005-07-19T14:30:00.000-07:002005-07-19T15:22:18.203-07:00Apple Jacks Are Not The Real Thing!Last night as Randi was preparing dinner, I was getting Ali into her high chair. In order to pass the time until dinner was ready, I gave Ali a small handful of Apple Jacks. While some of you may know this, a one year old seems to have trouble understanding that Apple Jacks are not really apples. <span style="font-weight: bold;">(If you consult the box, you will notice that </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Sugar</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> is the main ingredient.)</span> Anyway, Randi put the food on the table. It was a vegatable pizza that Randi really enjoys. Normally, I enjoy it as well. If you must know, I indulged before coming home....bad idea. Well, I guess that I convinced Ali to do the same. She let Randi and I know that she was not pleased with her dinner. <br /><br />You see Ali at about 10-11 months began to employ the "don't eat pile." This is a pile where the unwanted food goes. If she is eating and the tray is too small, it just goes on the floor. I don't know where she learned this habit, but it was employed at this meal. The biggest problem was that she was trying to put her whole plate in the "don't eat pile." She would not eat anything Randi gave her. She actually started being very verbal about her unhappiness. I was thinking to myself, "Well, I'll just get her some more Apple Jacks." I guess that I uttered this out loud, because Randi's response was appropriate. She said, "Andy, why are you trying to appease this child?"<br /><br />I guess that I know the answer. It is easier to give her what she wants than it is to give her what she needs. As much as I know that Apple Jacks are not good for my baby, I often think, "...but it will make her happy." Wow! How often have I seen out-of-control children in my office, at church, or at the grocery store? How often do I say to myself, "If that were my kid...?" And yet here I am struggling with this same issue. <br /><br />How often do we settle for Apple Jacks when we can have the real thing! I know that, recently, I have been struggling with having the real thing. My relationship with Christ is not much different than this experience I had with Randi. While Ali wanted Apple Jacks, the mommy knew better. She kept and keeps saying, "Ali needs to eat her vegatables." While we all want to eat Apple Jacks because that cinnamon and apple tastes so delectable, it is not what we need. <br /><br />As I have contemplated about my relationship with Christ over the last few weeks and months, I can see that Christ has been saying to me over and over, "Andy, [that] is not what you need. I know that you think you need it, but it is only what you want. It is not really good for. It isn't really even Apples." You know I want what Christ offers, but often find myself saying, "Yeah, but it is soooo GOOOOD!" <br /><br />God knows what we really need. He knows that Apple Jacks are not really Apples! What he offers is so good for us. It may not be the most appealing course at first, but you will soon find that you are more satisfied with his food. As you consider these words, I pray that you, like me will, "<sup id="en-NIV-14397"></sup><span style="font-weight: bold;">Taste and see that the LORD is good.</span>" (Psalm 34:8) <br /><div style="text-align: center;"> <div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div> </div>Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14278498.post-1120755148472791902005-07-07T09:43:00.000-07:002005-07-07T09:52:28.473-07:00ResistanceYou ever noticed how we say, "I'll never do that," only to find ourselves doing that thing we said that we would never do. I am really one of those people. I really have to sit back and laugh at myself at times.<br /><br />I am always going against the flow. I want to be different. At times I try to be so different, I become just like everybody else. I have noticed this trend in everybody. We dress to be different, only to find that we are not noticed anymore. We look just like everybody else who is trying to be different.<br /><br />I guess I am saying all of this to say that I was not going to blog last year because everybody else was doing it. Well in my effort to be different, I have become like everybody else. So, I will be like all the other bloggers and be me in the process.<br /><br />Hope you enjoy my thoughts.Andy Willliamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877833161073763304noreply@blogger.com3