Impossibly Flawed and Wonderfully Made!

I was talking with someone recently and they stated, "I really like what you write, but when are you going to write that you are successful?" I kind of laughed to myself and thought, "Well aren't these all my stories of success?" But I see the point, "Andy, when will you start to toot your own horn?"

I spent a lifetime trying to receive other's attention. It was not until recently that I could claim that I had value independent of someone else's thoughts of me. When I write it is a chance for me to really evaluate myself, to learn, to gain insight, and to become that successful person. I have always been able to find my flaws. There is very little effort for me to notice my mistakes. In the past, however, my criticisms never had any positive thoughts behind it. It was rather condemning of me. I allowed myself no grace. I must make myself right. This was done by managing everyone's feelings toward me. I was the king of apologizing because I might have hurt someone's feelings. I could not value myself. It all came from others. So in a sense this critic was right about me when they said, "When are going to write that you are successful." I know that I am successful, but now I will share what I have learned in the last 3 years.

Here is my answer. God has made me. While I am impossibly flawed, I am wonderfully made. I like being a father and husband, therefore I am reasonably good at it. Life is never as scary lived as it is perceived. I like my job; it is where I try to excel. If you love it, you will be good at it. I have found that being a child of God offers me more hope about my life than any pat on the back ever could. I don't need someone to say, "I like what you are doing." Of course they do, I am living for God. I have realized that I am not as nerdy or geeky as I ever thought I was. I am cool because I believe myself to be. I am free because I do not have to live under the guilt and burden that sin causes. Jesus died for me.