First Blood

Last week was a scary time for my family. I talked to my mother on Saturday afternoon and asked her if she had read the message about he impending grandchild. Of course she had, but I got very little response. (Randi told me that I should have called. I guess next time I will call. So this is also an apology for my insensitivity.) Actually, my mom did not talk long and sounded as if she were not feeling good. When I got off the phone, Randi asked, "Are you done already?" I answered that mom did not seem to want to talk. It was if she did not feel good.

I know now that she did not. By Tuesday, I got a call from my sister stating that my mother was in the hospital. She had a ruptured appendix. I am not a medical type. (When asked biology questions, I make stuff up. Randi routinely looks at me like I am crazy, but I just did not like biology. If you had Ms. Lusk for a biology teacher, you might feel that same way.) Anyway, I did not know how serious this thing was. It was not until yesterday that I realized that my mom was in some real peril. When I talked to her she stated, "The doctor told her that he thought that he was going to lose her." My mom laughs at this now, because it has seemed to spur my dad to do some things that she has wanted done for a long time. I guess when you almost lose somebody it really makes you want to show them how much you appreciate them.

In a vaguely parallel incident, Ali had her first bloody accident over the weekend. A little boy was trying to give her a hug and knocked her down in the process. She lay on the floor and cried for a second. Ali tends to be a little dramatic and I thought, "She is just putting on." When I finally picked her up, she had blood streaming out of her mouth.

I was shocked. She was screaming and wiping blood around her face. It was smeared everywhere. My baby was a bloody mess. I did not know what to think. What do you do in a situation like this? It was not serious. It was just a bloody lip. I, however, felt panic. My baby has been hurt. After settling her down with a Popsicle, I realized that everything was going to be okay.

It is weird that a person does not often realize the value of life until someone special is lost or damaged. With Ali the danger was evident, but with my mom I did not realize the danger. Remember, I am ignorant in medical matters. (I remember an episode on Night Court, when Dan Fielding did an emergency surgery to cut out Harry’s appendix with a pocketknife. How dangerous can that be?)

As I spoke to my mom, she reminded me that good has come out of this episode. Out of her pain, she has received a blessing from my father. He was at her side on a near constant basis. She, I hope you don’t mind mom, has struggled for years with her feelings of importance in my dad’s life. She learned from this episode that he would always be there for her.

Why does it take blood and death to remind us of what is important? When I spill blood, it means pain for me. If I spill too much, it means death. I have struggled for years to understand why God decided to use blood and death as his means of conveying salvation. I think that I understand it more. As humans, one of the things we fear is pain. Some even fear death. God wanted to make a point. Sin is that bad. It deserves to die. It deserves to feel pain. If we feel this much pain at the loss of someone who is human, how much more of a sacrifice was is it that God chose this path for Jesus?

When I saw Ali with blood streaming out of her face or think about the near loss of my mother, I realize that God gave up his Son to both of these experiences. He had to experience pain. He had to suffer death. If my mom had not faced death, my father might have not had the opportunity to show her that she was important. If Jesus had not faced pain and death, I would not have the opportunity to show him how thankful I am.

I realized that I don’t serve God because I am obligated to serve him. I serve God because I realize how close he came to death for me. (Read as, he came really close. He died for me.)

I hope that I can learn from this experience. I hope that I can remember to be a faithful servant because I would miss him if he were not in my life. I will pray, “God help me to love you because I would miss you so much if you were not a part of my life.”