Like My Daddy

I have never spent much time with little children. In fact, most of my life I have run from them. I did not like to hear them scream. I did not appreciate the way the crawl all over the place. I really did not like the way that they tore up your personal items. It is weird how that can change. I guess that it has not changed for everybody, but I can see the beauty of a little one.

I have watched myself grow from seeing Ali as a "little parasite" trying to steal my freedom to "my little girl" teaching me about freedom. I don't really even remember what it was like not to be daddy. I can see why people think a child will "fix" your problems. They can make you feel so good about yourself.

The other day, as I was leaving for work, Randi and Ali were playing the backyard. When I rode off on my bike, Ali ran behind me blowing kisses. Randi stated that Ali made it all the way down the Alley way to the road. When Randi told Ali to come home, she threw a fit. She wanted to be with her daddy. It is so cool that someone wants to be with me that much!

When I think about the responsibility of being a daddy, it could be frightening. I want to see it as an opportunity. What a little sponge! If I do it, she is going to do. If I say it, I hear her trying to say it. Just a few months ago, she could not even roll over. Now she is repeating the actions of her mommy and daddy.

I think what bring joy to my heart is to hear her saying, "haaa-way-eww-yeh," over and over. What a testimony! Conversely, when I got mad at the dog and popped her on the head, "what did Ali do?" Yep, she tried to punish Abbey as well.

So do I act like my daddy? Yes, I do remind many people of Michael Williams, but do I act like my heavenly father? When Jesus was in the temple, he stated, "I must be about my father's business." Am I busy about my father's business?

Last night, my neighbor knocked on the door. He was drunk. This is not that unusual. What is unusual is that he asked me to go to Hardees for him. I agreed thinking that he would give me some money to buy him the sandwich he wanted. He did not offer me money. He offered me a coupon. (I am laughing at this now. Maybe I should try this strategy.) I came back inside to tell Randi. She and I both know that money is tight. I, however, also knew that I had just prayed that God would send me a non-Christian to serve. So, I went to Hardees. When I delivered the food, there was no mention of reimbursement. I did not ask. He did say, "Hey, what no fries?" I think I could have choked him. (Man! That is so funny! I asked God to use me then I complained.)

So am I like Ali? Am I longing to be like my daddy? I want to be like Ali. I want to run down the alley way because I long to be with my daddy. I want to be like him. I want to be what the world hungers for. God gave his very best. Can I do any less? I want to look for opportunities to serve, because that is what God has done through the savior.

The Heart of Worship

What does is mean to have a passion for something? Sometimes I find myself saying that I have a passion for Mississippi State sports...sometimes. I might say that I have a passion for food. The point is that everybody would say that they have a passion. All people have different passions, but we all seem to define the word as "a consuming interest."

I wonder if this is really how the word should be defined. I found myself really looking at this word in terms of its origin and how it is used. Passion is derived form the Greek word that means "to suffer." When we watch the movie, The Passion, we are really watching "the suffering." I guess if you go back to the actual meaning of passion, it means to feel so strongly about something that you would suffer for it.

When I think about the statement, "I have a strong passion for worship," I wonder what I am really saying. I know what I have meant. I have meant to say, “I enjoy bright, vibrant singing." Is this the same as having a passion for worship? The word worship is derived from worth-ship. I like something. I give it high value. The phrase "worshipping God" implies that you give God high value.

To say that I have a passion for worship is to say, "I really value worshipping and would die for my style." To say that I have a passion for worshipping God is to say, "I really value God and would give my life for him." I think that I have been struggling with this thought because f I have been in the business of passionately valuing worship, not God.

Recently, I heard someone point to Revelation 3 as a statement about worship. Jesus condemns the church at Laodicea for being lukewarm. Actually as I understand it, he condemns them for being "normal." They are so normal, they disgust him. He says, "You make me want to throw up!" How powerful is this statement? Jesus wants to throw up because his followers are no different than the world around them. Wow! My life is really normal. Do I stand out from the world around me? I mean... Am I willing to suffer for Jesus? I am willing to take the place of a servant?

Jesus seems to be calling the church to true worship. He is saying, "If you are truly passionate about worshipping me, give me your life." I am guilty of this sin. I have stated that I want to be true worshipper and yet where is the daily heart worship? Where is the strong desire for prayer and bible study? How many hungry people have I fed? I am not talking about works. I am talking about gratitude. "God you saved me, I want to grow closer to you."

I am not putting myself down, I am finally being honest. It is lie to say that I am passionate about worshipping God, when I am really passionate about worshipping. Over and over I hear people say, "I love the new stuff" or “I love the old stuff." This "stuff" is not important. That is all just periphery. These are all just techniques. What matters most to God is the heart.

If we as the church can start daily worshipping, we will not argue about technique. I have made a commitment to daily find ways of worshipping God. I don't want to be guilty of worshipping worship. I want to worship God.